As a woman and a mom it is hard not to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. Whether that be in parenting styles, baby milestones, looks, money, lifestyles. With social media it is so easy to get caught up in the culture of comparison.
Media has thrived off of making motherhood appear to be a competition. There is pressure to display only the “good” parts of parenting and your life. Only show your home all clean, laundry put away, full face of makeup, baby dressed in cute clothes and ready for the day. Or how quickly a mom can return back to work after maternity leave. Or how quickly she gets back into the gym after having her child.
This creates a toxic culture of competition in motherhood. Continually comparing yourself to other women and moms and wondering “why can’t I be like her, she has it all together”? We all know this is NOT realistic, this is NOT standard, and NOT healthy for mental, physical or emotional health of any woman.
It is so easy to get caught up in this narrative when that’s the only one that you’re seeing on social media. Instead of creating this competition, we should be complementing moms on their success and progress, through the highs and lows of motherhood.
Let’s focus on building each other up in motherhood and being honest and real about our struggles and our successes. One thing that I truly appreciate from other moms is vulnerability. This makes me feel open to sharing and that I am not alone when it comes to certain hardships.
Some days I don’t put on an ounce of makeup. The laundry stays piled up for days before I can seem to make time to fold it and put it away. The dishes don’t get done until it’s almost dinner time. Blair stays in her PJ’s all day because we aren’t leaving the house. Toys are scattered around the house. The bed doesn’t get made. I nap while Blair takes her afternoon nap. And sometimes we even have frozen pizza because neither me nor my husband want to put any effort into cooking.
With all of these things that seem to pile up during the day or I don’t seem to get to I can say that every day my daughter is loved and nourished to my full extent. She is growing and learning daily whether she’s in her PJ’s or a cute outfit. She is bonding and playing with my husband and I whether the dishes are done or not.
We need to applaud mothers for showing up and being the best mom to their kiddos. Compliment them on the job they are doing NOW and not what they “should’ve” done or could be doing. The raw and the real and the messy is what makes parenting and motherhood so beautiful and we as a society need to stress this.
Allison Bearden, RN 
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