My husband and I live a pretty active lifestyle. We’re typically always planning something for the weekend, hanging out with friends, visiting family. And we absolutely love doing that, especially now that we have our daughter. I’ve noticed in the past few months that I get extremely anxious before taking her into a public place…. Why is that?

Whether it be a restaurant, coffee shop, grocery store, I’m terrified of her having a meltdown that I’m not able to control and disturbing OTHER people’s day. As mothers, we are conditioned to think that our children aren’t welcome into public establishments if they aren’t “well behaved”. Like an infant isn’t supposed to cry because they’re hungry, a two year old isn’t supposed to have a meltdown in the toy isle because you won’t get them anything, a six year old is playing and maybe being a little too loud for everyone else’s comfort.

These are all completely normal behaviors for children but yet they are frowned upon if you bring them out in public and they behave in such a way. Why does everyone else’s feelings and comfort matter to me?

For instance, we went to dinner with my parents at a local restaurant. Blair typically does pretty well and she’s in this stage now where she wants to be out of her car seat so she can look around at everything. My husband and I were passing her back and forth to keep her entertained and then she just hit a wall because it was so close to bedtime. I kept growing more and more anxious as she was whining inside this restaurant. It felt like everyone was staring at me and our child and wondering why we couldn’t “keep her under control”.

Here are some thoughts that were going through my head: they probably don’t think I’m a good mom, I’m disturbing their dinner, people probably think why do we bring her to a restaurant if she’s going to cry.. in reality, all of this is unrealistic.

I had to remind myself that this is what babies do, I am a good and nurturing mother, and no one’s feelings should matter more than those of my child. In reality, no one was staring at us, no one was bothered by her fussiness besides me. As moms we are so conditioned to think that our children are an inconvenience to everyone else in public.

We should embrace mothers and families who take their children out in public and have family outings together. They are choosing life and the happiness of themselves AND their children. Too often are mothers given “dirty looks” or given advice like “you should really control your children”. Instead why not tell her how great of a job she’s doing, offer her help with her groceries to the car, tell her everything will be okay and she is a great mom.

We are so blessed to be able to take our baby with us everywhere and get to do all of these fun things together. Our life does not slow down or stop because we had a child. It is just beginning.

So here’s to embracing the crazy, hectic, and challenging years ahead with our girl because they will be the best years yet.

You are doing a great job mama! Remind yourself of that today and every day.